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new me.

new found confidence for 2012, thank you jillian michaels.

Mar. 15th, 2011

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so the plane crashed and burned. i'm still a little jaded, but thankful.

I am no longer afraid.

I am no longer angry.

I am no longer jealous.

Finally I am free.


+i wish you would text me 24-7 like you do her.

+i wish you weren't married so we could see each other more often.

+i wish i didn't have a reason to be disappointed in you.

+i wish i wasn't so fucking jealous all the time.

+i wish i had a life.

+i wish i could kiss you whenever i want.

+i want to believe that deep down somewhere, you telling me you don't love me like that, is a big fat lie.

+i wish i could stop putting my life on hold for him.

+i wish i could be happy with who i am and not second guess myself all the time.

+i wish i had more girlfriends who i could hang with on a regular basis.

+i wish i was more social.

+i wish i wasn't afraid of taking chances.


tambien sueno que u te das cuento que yo quiero estar en tu cielo como la luz del sol.


"you said move on, where do i go? I guess second best is all i will know"

Mar. 25th, 2009

i just got caught up in my own thoughts
wondering what can and could never be
anything .ever. i think.

i want you but i have my doubts
thoughts fuzzy as clouds.

i don't want to write you another love song
because its like wasted energy.
i don't want to fall in love with you
because i know you don't want me.
i don't want to see you in my dreams
the tears bombard my eyes
i wish i could get away
i guess this is goodbye.

i stare at your picture
and see the future
what i thought was happily ever after
what you see as what never could be.
i can't help it
your eyes speak to my soul.
i wish i could get away
i wish i could let you go.

someone please pull me up
from this rope that i dangle from.
from the grips of your selfishness
to have me when it's convenient.
im done crying.
im done trying.
im done.
this is goodbye.

how did that happen?

i can see myself treading through uneasy water and i know what i am doing will only land me where i don't want to be.

i can't help it. im getting pulled in.

stop me!

someone. please?

i wish i had a valentine to buy me all of the cute Hello Kitty shit coming out February 12th from MAC.

i have too much makeup but i can't pass this up. Everything is going to be pink and sparkly and pretty and cute. Hello Kitty is the epitomy of everything that is feminine in this world. i think...

so i'll drop hints to those dearest to me but if all else fails, i'm treating myself ♥


it's sooo effing cold.

and i feel crappy like my monthly visitor is stuck in traffic but surely coming for a visit in a little bit.


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